Sunday, September 15, 2013

Ask for 100% of What You Want 100% of the Time

“Ask for 100% of what you want 100% of the time.”

I heard a friend of mine say he was living by that motto.  I have great respect for this individual and I was struck by this concept.

It seemed selfish to me and it didn’t seem as if it took the other person’s needs into account.

I asked him about that and he said, “This has nothing to do with ignoring other's needs or not being empathetic.  In my version of the idea, this is all about aligning your objectives and your heart with the future that you are trying to manifest.  My experience is that I "get" exactly what I imagine my future will be.  When I'm fuzzy about what I want, I get a "fuzzy" future.  

It is also a personal challenge to myself - I have a hard time believing that I deserve what I want.   I've come to realize that I pretend that it's all about the "other’s needs" when it's really just managing some fear and self-worth issues.”

I had a better understanding after he explained his thoughts on the idea. I have wanted to write about this concept, but I was still thinking hard about how I felt about it.

Now, I feel more comfortable for two reasons.  One, I think not demanding, but letting another person know what you are looking for is helpful.  It doesn’t mean you expect it, but it does put it out there and you never know what kind of compromise is possible.  You certainly don’t know if you don’t communicate it.

Second,  I agree with my friend who first mentioned the statement to me.  It is important to really ask yourself: “what do I want?”.  I think we are “fuzzy” sometimes about what it is we really want and taking the time to seriously consider that question leads to clarity.

It’s not so much about clarity in the details as clarity of the vision.  I wrote about this a few years ago regarding putting the emphasis on the “whats”, not the “hows” of your life.

Anyway, it’s a starting point and not a specific path.  

Asking for 100% of what you want 100% of the time is a way of being clear with yourself and others.

Let me know your thoughts.